Mar 30, 2014
After last week’s revelation within the Pagan community, I came home on Thursday with a heavy heart, a headache and a feeling of overwhelm at what I was seeing happen to the community that I love so much. You see, I don’t think it is about the latest issue, it is about us as a community learning to deal with triggering events without tearing everything around us apart.
I have been seeing a community that is grieving the death of two Pagan elders within the last two weeks, and then thrown into full blown shock after a Pagan elder was arrested for possession of child pornography. Understandably…. we are all so damn triggered that we cannot see one another as a sense of safety right now. Nothing feels safe when grief and abuse are triggered.
I have seen people acting out their pain, and their past, all over the internet after this news came out. We see this all the time in other ways, I was just really hoping not to see it in the Pagan community. I know that we are a microcosm of the macro society that we live in, but I was hoping we would be able to bypass some of the pain that we project outward when we are holding so much pain inside.
I find that when incidents like this happen in society it can be a catalyst to tear one another apart, or a bridge that we use in order to learn. The reality is that we need to to work through the pain and challenges so that we can build a future that works for us all. The Pagan community is no different than the struggles within the macro of society, and the work required takes just as much time and effort to effect change.
After coming home the other day, I wrote a facebook status about things I feel are important for us to remember while we are going through this road from shock to healing, and then to action. I will re-post what I wrote, in hopes that it is something that will help us all in these moments.
“So…. while we are all dealing with this whole crazy stuff that we were alerted to today, I want to ask for a couple things from all my Pagan folk. At least to consider.
* Let us be gentle with each other. We are not the enemy here….
* When people are in a state of shock, we don’t always process things clearly in the moment.
* When people feel betrayed, the response is often anger or sadness coupled with anger.
* Those closest to said person (KK) are going through their own process to reconcile who they thought they knew and what they are being told. This is a hard process, and sometimes can sound like being an apologist…. but isn’t exactly.
* Let’s be careful not to assume anyone is an apologist…. this shit is confusing.
* Many, many, many people are triggered by this. When we are triggered, we often react instead of respond.
* So many people are hurt when things like this happen. Varying degrees of hurt…. and all hurt is important.
* Mudslinging covers up what is underneath. This isn’t the time to mud-sling… this is a time to be gentle with one another.
* We all miscommunicate, speak before thinking, react before filtering sometimes. It is a chance to be understanding and to be understood.
* Community counts when the shit hits the fan, not just when it is all roses.
* We don’t all have to think the same…. it is not a reason to bring in the machete.
* Did I mention to be gentle with each other?
Holding space for all the grieving, triggering, confusion, and chaos might make it workable for us to recover. We just have to learn to be present in the hardest of times, when we are all trying to make sense of things that do not make sense. We all deserve the chance to do that.
Thank you. And I love my Pagan people…. a lot.”